The anatomy of repentance, part II

Every day, we ask ourselves dozens of questions, most of them very practical: "What am I going to wear to work today?" "Do I need to pick up anything at the grocery store?" "Should I try to run that yellow light, or stop, and wait until it's green?"  And sometimes the questions are very personal: "I wonder what she's thinking of me right now?"  "Did I say the right thing?" But very often, the most basic questions, the most important questions, get lost amid all the others.  For example, when was the last time you looked in a mirror and asked, "Just what am I, anyway?"

In an earlier post, we discussed the subject of repentance, as it's used in the Bible.  We primarily concentrated on James 4:7-10, and how we should approach God when we've blown it, and fallen (or deliberately walked) into sin.  "Repentance" has become a controversial topic in some Christian circles, but, as noted in the previous post, it needn't be.  Rather than simply summarize or recapitulate what was said there, however, we're going to move on to the next step now, and it's likely to be heavy.  Heavy, but liberating, as all Bible truth tends to be.  Instead of discussing repentance for individual acts, as we did before, we're going to discuss something more fundamental - - - and something with which God Himself is much more concerned than our individual sins and blunders.  In the previous post, we were discussing things that we've done, and how to repent of them.  This time, we're going to discuss what we are.

Before getting to the question of "What am I," as important as that is, we need to consider something else. What is the purpose of real repentance?  In our previous post, we addressed the matter of turning from sin and sins, and that's an enormous part of it.  Getting out from under our own sins is urgent, if we're to have fellowship with Christ, and serve and enjoy Him.  But that's not the entire story.  Another purpose of repentance, or another step in repentance, is coming to see ourselves as God sees us.  

Preachers and Christian writers often say that repentance is "agreeing with God that such-and-such is a sin."  Okay, that's a good starting place.  But we also need to come to agreement with God about who we are: who, and what, is that man or woman we see in the mirror every day? 

Basic knowledge of the Bible, of course, tells us that we're really two things, or two people - - - assuming that we've received Christ according to John 1:12, and been born again.  (If you haven't taken that step, then "repentance" is both meaningless and impossible for you.)  On the one hand, we are new creatures in Christ, according to 2 Cor. 5:17: Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. We are sons of God (John 1:12); we're "accepted in the beloved" (Eph. 1:6), forgiven and accepted by God because we're now part of His beloved Son.  That's our new nature.  But, on the other hand, as long as we're living down here on the ground, we also have our original sin nature hanging on to our bodies, as Paul laments at such length in Romans 7 (one of the most "realistic" chapters in the Bible, in terms of our Christian experience).  We're not children of wrath or children of disobedience any more (Eph. 2:2, 3), but we still have a sin nature, an "old man," that prompts us to sin.  As the old hymn says, "Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it; prone to leave the God I love."  That's the honest confession of every Christian who has ever lived.

Well, when a man fornicates, or a woman becomes a drunkard, or someone cheats on his taxes or indulges in gluttony, which part of that person is obviously operating?  These things are certainly not the fruit of the Spirit; they're the works of the flesh (Gal. 5:19-24).  Those are the individual sort of sins we need to confess, and repent of, as mentioned in the previous post.

But, of course, when we confess individual sins, we're not telling God anything He doesn't already know; we're certainly not surprising Him.  Essentially, we're saying to Him (as we would say to a spouse after an argument), "I know I was wrong, forgive me."  That's very important; its importance should never be minimized.

But God wants more, as we mature in the Christian life, and come to know Him better.  He wants us to understand and acknowledge, not just what we've done, but what we are.  And, apart from the grace and transforming power of Jesus Christ, what we are isn't very pretty.

I can't avoid a personal note here, but it may be encouraging to you.  I was saved a month before my twentieth birthday; I've been a Christian for 43 years. But I didn't understand the real nature of repentance and confession until the past decade or so.  Talk about a slow learner! So, if you're a slow learner too, don't feel all alone!

For decades, I confessed my sins, in detail and promptly; I didn't let them pile up.  As God gave me the power, I repented of those sins.  And God honored this, and I grew to know Him more, and our fellowship was never broken for very long.  But it wasn't until the last few years that I understood what repentance was all about.

If I steal, it's important for me to confess that theft (and to make restitution, if possible).  But God wants to hear more than "Lord, I'm sorry I committed the sin of theft." God wants me to acknowledge what I am: instead of "God, I stole," He wants me to understand and admit that "God, apart from Your grace, I'm a dishonest and thieving man."  This doesn't contradict 2 Cor. 5:17; it merely acknowledges that the "old man" is always present, and that I know where I'd be without Christ. God already knows that, of course.  But, in the process of Christian growth, it's important for me to understand it. 

This is important with sins of omission, too; maybe even more important.  We don't all steal or shoot heroin, but most of us neglect God's word from time to time; we don't pray as deeply and in as much detail as we should; we certainly don't bear witness, verbally, as often as we should.  We hear a good sermon, and say "That was good;" but do we meditate on it, hours later, and internalize its lessons?  We read our chapter or chapters of scripture, hopefully every day; but do we pray as we read, and ask God's revelation and guidance?  Or do we do it by rote, because it's expected of us?

I'm no great prayer warrior, and I'm not holding myself up as an example: may God forbid!  But, in my own prayer life, I've seen a real change in recent years, and it's brought me much closer to God.  Yes, I still confess the acts, the sins; I'm commanded to do so, and 1 John 1:9 promises forgiveness.  (Being aware of our sinfulness and sins isn't a matter of "guilt;" it's the first step in getting rid of the guilt!) But more and more, I find myself praying, "Lord, I haven't read Your word enough; I haven't loved it enough; I'm not a spiritual man.  Lord, I've wasted so much time on 'entertainment,' or my own enthusiasms; I simply don't have a heart for You, or Your things. Apart from Your grace, and apart from the fact that You've saved me, I'm not much.  I'm not worth shooting, and all my 'righteousnesses' are filthy rags!  I know that, Lord, I understand it, and I ask You to help me repent ... not just of what I've done, but of what I am!"

Do you know what you'd be without Jesus Christ?  Do you know what you were before you received Him? (If you don't, you need to go to the top of the page, and read the tab called "Hey, Dummy!")  Well, you don't need to ask God's forgiveness for being a sinner; that matter was handled at Calvary.  But you and I need to constantly remember - - - and let God know that we remember - - - what we'd be without Him.

Because that's part of repentance, too.  And that's where the growth comes.  Simply put, 90% of the Christian life consists of remembering Who God is - - - and what we're not!

We need to confess what we are.  But, having done that, we don't need to dwell on it, or get discouraged by it; because we're also God's sons and daughters, by His grace, and we're part of Jesus Christ, just as He's part of us.  Confessing what we are sounds so negative; but it clears the decks, and allows us to understand more fully, and more joyously, the new life, and the new future, that God has given us. 

Don't get discouraged: that's not the point.  Just see yourself as God sees you - - - and then watch Him make you what He wants you to be!

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us (Rom 8:35-37).